I love to read

so when I arrived home I was so excited to go through all the fantastic books mum had bought for the bubs. When at my sister's house the next day she showed me about this fab book that she had picked up the other day for her wee one. It's called bossy bear and needless to say I NEED TO OWN THIS BOOK. We're off to hunt the bargain bins at winners to find me a copy (that's where KJ got hers from)... I know I can of course always buy a full price one at the book store but that is beside the point... do we really need excuses for trips to winners?

Videos...

because its just that much better to see it live (kind of)


Sienna Sitting up!


Baby symphony

Please remind me in a few weeks time...

when I'm moaning about all the blub I acquired while in Canadialand that its truly my fault... There are so many naughty temptations I swear I've over indulged every day on something or several things for that matter... Perhaps writing about it will curb my 'maybe just one more gobstopper (because we don't have them in Spain)' ... doubt it.

There are too many photos to even explain... thus best perhaps to inundate instead. Hope you're wearing your wellies...



A donde esta mi papi???


Mum and watermelon bum


Girls in dresses holding hands... Sienna is really just trying to nick her bangle.


The power struggle begins!


Super drool!

At long long last

Last Friday the wee one's passport arrived. Saturday morning first thing her and I boarded a plane to Amsterdam and then transferred to another one to get to Toronto. I was mildly terrified as obviously I have never traveled with a small infant on my own. I was really lucky and honestly pleasantly surprised. KLM were very good to us and I even had a cot for her to sleep in which meant I could put her down! I tell you, holing a small baby for more than 12h consecutively would have damn near killed me. I even managed to watch two movies (Volver and 27 dresses) and a few episodes of the simpsons, will and grace as well as one of the sopranos! Not bad!

The heat here is monumental but so nice as summer as of yet had not arrived to Barcelona. The wee one wasn't quite too sure where I had taken her as she went from bundled to boiling in the matter of a few hours.

To say that it is wonderful to be here is an understatement. I really really needed a break and it is so good for my soul to see my whole family. I sometimes forget how hard it is to live so far away from them.

I'm equally thrilled that Sean and Grant are coming down from Ottawa next weekend. I have not seen Sean in over 6 years! We are far overdue!

I think we've taken about a zillion photos since we arrived... brace yourself this might just be a mommy blog for a short while...


Arrivals! We don't look too shabby after more than 12h of traveling...


Sienna and Isabella's first encounter.


Meeting great grandma


Meeting Great Grandpa


The girls with my mum (grandma that would be I suppose)


Girls in their car seats (this is all new for Sienna)


Isabella quickly showed her how it was done...


I am in the jolly jumper... one of several instruments of torture they have for me here in this strange country.


Hmmm this is a chair?


And this thing? some sort of spinning walker? We surely have no room for such things in our tiny flat!


Brampton boot camp is all to much work... nap time!

Life thus far...

seems like a series of transitions... I kind of see it like a series of sliding screens... mostly opaque but constantly moving. I've become more concious of this in the past few years. I think it started when I moved from Ottawa to London. Moving marked the end of one chapter of my life and the begining of many others. When my dad died the sliding screen feeling felt so foreign and I felt sort of caught inbetween two screens yet unable to pass through onto one side or another... When I found out that I was pregnant, a very different thing happened... it was like a screen slid over and I became the observer in the events happening in my life and not the antagonist. This feeling persists and sometimes I really wish I could shake it... Its like this strange interceptor that is perhaps protecting my heart. I can't remember a time in my life where I've felt more vulnerable and terrified but yet still amazed and inspired. The problem being is that the distance that being the observer instead of the antagonist really mutes things and only in tiny little spurts do intense feelings of joy and amazment seap through. I guess its all part and parcel of becoming a parent. The only thing that I figure is that its a way of your mind protecting your brain from going absolutely insane with worry about all the horrible things there are in this world. I can honestly say that since I've become a mum that I've visited some very dark places in my mind... fueled by what must be maternal need to protect their young... the unfortunate part in this process is that in order to prevent harm my mind seems to conjure up the need to imagine a million horrible and unspeakable things that could possibly befall the people I love (most importantly the bub)... being concious of all the bad should surely be to equipt me with the ability to prevent it from happening... name the evil I suppose?

Pretty dark really, but I'm hoping that its just another transition happening and that it will all make sense to me in a few years and I will laugh when I go back and re-read this post... In the interim I'll keep hoping for more clarity on the good things and perhaps some greater opacity on the more scary bits.

More and more waiting

we're good at it of course... during all this waiting we are still trying to find the miracle solution which until now seems like we'll just have to do more waiting to find... but the bottle rejection continues. We've tried what I think now is everything in the book... and nothing is working. Thus while not being able to travel yet as we've still not received her passport... I'm not able to go back to work nor can I do very much without returning home promptly for the next feeding. Its amazing how quickly you start to feel claustraphobic in your own life. Not good for me but hey, it could be worse.

We've been lounging on the sofa outside lately although its not been too warm... but someone cracked a smile the other day which is a rare thing to be caught on camera... but there was a lot of cuteness on tap so we lapped it up.


giggles (check out the massive amounts of squooge!)


Shading our head from the sunbeams

If only I could have taken a picture...

of the look on Lilli's face this afternoon after we finished walking through the very muddy park. She had mud and dirt all the way up to her underbelly (which in its self is quit the feat as she normally refuses to even walk through a puddle!). I escorted her out of the park and to th nearest water fountain which dot the city here with the intended use to give dogs drinks and hippies who still live in flats with no running water a source of the precious liquid... I put the breaks on the pram and pushed the plunger to release the flow of water and stuffed a very unsuspecting little filthy pooch under the stream of water. Don't worry it was not garden hose cold... I rinsed and rinsed until all traces of dirty dog were erased... The look on her face while I did this to her was just priceless! If only someone else was there to capture the moment!!!!

The terrace painting mission is 98% complete, we're just waiting for the rain clouds to disappear and we can get the last bit painted! What a difference a lick of paint makes!!! I shall of course post before and after pics.

The bottle refusal in baby central continues which means no gym time for me until we can solve this wee problem. suggestions are welcome! We are keen to try anything as long as it gets her to take my milk from a bottle ... sigh...

The tax man here has given us a nice surprise... although they've still not let us know their final decision regarding the 2500 baby bonus we are due ( as they claim that I have no lived here for more than 2 years when I actually have and have even been paying taxes that long... but anyway) They have given me a 12 month hiatus on paying my autonoma fee which is normally about 200Euros per month. What a nice surprise!

Believe it or not after a long reprise I have almost completed another painting... Here are two pictures of it in progress... the final picture still pending of course as I'm not happy with it yet in its current state (not shown here)

Look very carefully and you can see her shape...


Marking out the shadows... but not nearly finished yet...

1000 minutes

Well I never really thought it was possible... but I managed to wrangle over 1000 minutes of my mother's time last month. We just got our phone bill and for the first time ever I managed to surpass the 1000 free international call limit! All I can say is that my mother is truly an angel for putting up with me wingeing down the phone about all the things that ail me on any given day.

The Canadian Embassy wrote today to say that the passport application for the wee sprog has finally been accepted and that it was now being sent off to be processed in Canada... They quote a waiting period of 3 weeks from this point... Feels like forever away but at the speed with which time is passing these days I am sure it will fly by.

Tomorrow I've got a full day of running around to collect all my tax receipts from my employers last year in order to submit them to my accountant who will then do my tax return for me... I'm half dreading this as I am pretty much thinking that I will have to pay them this year... I really hope this is not the case but hey... bring it on. Don't you just love tax season?

The bottle battle continues and I am still litterally attached to the wee one all day long... I don't know how much longer I can handle as nothing seems to be working and I fear losing the plot completely if I can not be on my own for more than an hour without having to feed her... I guess we've had it pretty good up until now as she has note fussed much and has been sleeping through the night for over a month now... for this we are truly greatful...

Fill in Ana's survey and get a cookie

I've been trying to do what I can to help the most lovely person in the world, miss Ana with all things related to this faboo book she is writing about being a graphic deisgner/graphic design. Thus in the spirit of all things good, if you are or if you know a graphic designer please have them click on the graphic below and fill in her survey. It only takes a minute. The more diversity to the answers she collects the better! Please feel free to pass along the link if you know someone who can help! Don't you feel better now?

Thank you, baby jesus is smiling on you today!

Foots!

Someone was following in the footsteps (literally) of little miss Isabella and experienced their first 'feet in the grass' experience this past weekend. Admittedly there wasn't much of a reaction, she kind of looked at us like it was just another one of the insane things that we her parents put her through... sigh... ah well we've got the moment documented and perhaps it will mean something to her later on in life... Next first experience... the sand on the beach and then on to the sea for a dip!


hmm not so sure about this...


Dad and the girls... someone is about to blub... check out the bottom lip! (priceless)

Part of the madness that is...

Living in Barcelona is definately finding a flat. It was a nightmarish 3 month journey for us to find this place and to be honest it was not our first choice... but now we call it home and we've made it just that. One of the quirks of the flat is the outright lack of emergency exits. The flat is long and narrow and the kitchen is right near the front door... because we are at the top of the building with the terrace on the same level all our windows have bars on them (as security is key)... this however means that if in an emergency, you have no other way out beyond the front door. This is mildly terrifying and now that we have some very precious cargo with us we figured that it needed to be fixed. Wendy's lovely husband Roy who is very handy has been here all day helping grind and fix and install hinges to open the bars on the window to the terrace which will miraculously provide us direct access to the terrace as well as the well needed secondary emergency exit. They boys have done a really great job. My job was mostly making sandwiches and tending to the baby and such.

Next step in our DIY frenzy will be the painting of the terrace and the installation of some pretty dividers to keep the peering eyes of our neighbours out of our house. More for their protection really as it would be to their horror if they accidently caught a glance of us strolling by naked one morning. Then up will go the tarp to provide some well needed shade and we should be in business! Oh wait... we need the kiddie pool which will keep miss S cool this summer and the feet of certain adults cool too!

Before and after photos will be fun... but here is a work in progress one...

Today was filled with good news

It stated yesterday acutally when I received the purlator envelope from my mum a day early. It contained all the paper work I was waiting for, for the British passport application as well as two beautiful cards from mum and sis wishing me a happy first mother's day. Its even surreal to write that... but yes, it was so lovely of them!

Then today my documents from the Canadian Embassy (which application is still in process btw) arrived as well thus finally permitting me to re-send the British Passport application with all the papers I needed!

Then I received an email from Jo Jo's lovely sister Nicky annoucing that she was 12 weeks pregnant! I'm so happy for her and her husband to be! They are due to be married in 3 weeks time. I tell you its sure a sign of the times as everyone seems to have the baby first and the wedding second! Well some of us haven't gotten around to the wedding thing... but we're busy with the passport thing for now so we'll just leave it at that...

Then I saw on crackbook (facebook) that my most favorite Mittul has gotten himself engaged! I'm really really thrilled about that one. I can however guarantee that he and his fiance will be waiting until after the nuputals to produce any offspring as both his and her family's are very traditional. I can only imagine how amazing his wedding will be. Full on Indian wedding! Brilliant!
I'm hoping that the positivity continues... I'm sceptically optimistic!

I went for an hour long jog with the hound this evening... yes my tiny dog definately has the energy for such a grand endevor... it was actually her bolting up the stairs at the end of our jog... so don't think she's not got it in her! I however hope that all the extra pounds I seem to be stacking on lately will begin to shift now I am officially allowed to exercise as I wish again without fear of important female parts jiggling out of place. Nice thought n'est pas? *evil laugh*

With a face full of boob...

One can do no wrong!

I need a scrub nurse!

I'm not sure what one actually is, however after chatting with my neighbour today he casually dropped the fact that his scrub nurse had keys to his flat, I decided that it sounded pretty cool and that I too would not mind having one... perhaps if I too was an orthopetic surgeon, it would be more appropriate to have one but lets not get the little things intefere with my dreams!

The heavens have remained opened here in barca-land for the past two days so when we awoke this morning and discovered that the rain had finally stopped we bolted out of the house with all the troops to go for a walk. I don't quite think Fredu knew what was awaiting him as I took him on our two hour route. The sea was cranking out some fast breaking surf which still did not deter the ever-optimistic surfers... the beaches were filthy, it was quite sad actually as the beach looked more like a rubbish dump. I guess massive storms churn up lots of filth that humans pitch into the sea. I swear I can't understand how so many people just dump their trash on the beach and leave it... Storms like this I guess just un-earth a lot of this rubbish... sigh, I know I know I sound like a grumpy old person...

Sienna has been helping me on my latest painting... to be honest she sort of lost interest after I did the first wash of the base... but its to be expected really as she is only 3 months. Perhaps when she realises she can get her tiny little hands into the paints too, she may develop a keener interest... we shan't rush to that phase just yet.

Too many pictures to upload sort and label... use your imagination a bit in the interim :)

Visitors

A few weeks back the lovely Sean McCann's friend Grant stopped into Barca for the weekend. He's a very important person in the goverment you see thus was over on this side of the pond and decided to jet to BCN for the weekend instead of staying in the Hague. Smart cookie! He was an absolute darling and can only hope we see him again one day soon. It would be even better if he could convince Mr. Sean to come along too!

He snapped a very rare full family portrait of us all at my favorite sunny terrace. Thanks Grant!


Uz


Grant and the girlz

I got just that little bit too excited...

last night I received a txt message from the British Consulate in Madrid telling me that my new passport will arrive within 24-48h... I then checked the bank to see if they withdrew the money for the fee or simply the money for the postage... sigh... it appears that they have only charged me for postage thus its very unlikely that they have processed the wee one's passport as they would have charged me that fee as well. I am so gutted, I really thought that I had perhaps finally gotten to the point where we could book the tickets home for a visit... Now I sit and wait to see why they did not process the passport, while at the same time hoping and praying that she may have more sucess with the Canadian one which is also apparently being processed... I can't wait until this nightmare is over with!

In the interim I've been busy going to a job interview and mostly giving Sienna interesting hair styles... She's not too pleased but really can you blame her?


Yes I have enough hair for a mohawk


okay then... right mum... this is cool?

He's back!

And very tired! The 'sleeper' train he took last night arrived in BCN this morning... I think the sleep part wasn't so easy as his 'sleeping compartment' was more like a coffin as it was so cramped... poor thing he's just shattered a 12h train journey like that is certainly not for the faint of heart... Sienna is of course more than happy to show him the ropes and they're both snoozing peacefully as I type.


sleep factory!

Yesterday after making it out of the house by 10am the girls and I were off on our daily walk. Lilli of course was not too pleased but really she never is... We ran into a TV crew filming along where we were walking on our way down to the beach. The bald headed presenter with an australian accent stopped us to admire Lilli and of course Sienna who was snuggled in her papoose sleeping... he was very charming and chatty and asked us how far they were from the Cathedral... At the very same moment a couple came by with the tiniest Chihauha. I was instantly disinterested in the TV guy and diverted my attention to the tiny puppy that our dog was actually playing with! I could not believe my eyes! Lilli Martini, playing with another caninne species? The TV presented looked quite surprised at my disinterest in him... the owner of the dog kept telling me 'that guy, the one with the cameras he's famous! Very famous, he did that show about being in Vegas for 5 dollars a day!' He was absolutely star struck... It was quite funny as I have absolutely no idea who the presenter was... the dog owner obviously could not speak to him as he did not speak English... it was a wierd situation... To be honest I was too busy watching the puppies play to really care. Eventually the TV guy and his crew chipped off and wished us well. Perhaps I missed my opportunity at 15 minutes of fame... ne mind I say! I still have no clue who the supposed celeb was/is... I don't think I'll be loosing much sleep over it but I am slightly curious as to who he was?

Some of us are getting chubby

at great speeds... and Sienna is looking rather plump in the cheeks too!

We're nearing the end of our home alone adventure... and to be honest I do think it's actually starting to get a little bit easier... Don't get me wrong, I will be VERY happy to have my other half back on Monday morning!


The wee one napping peacefully after her 3rd breakfast yesterday.


This one is a bit blurry but you can see more full on squoogyness! Double chins, just like mum!

So she's 3 months old now and 5,78 kilos and a whopping 58cm... she's nearly doubled her birthweight and grown nearly 10cm in length. I guess that's what all the napping and eating will get you! The picture above shows her in her new wee (but acutually too big for her hat) having a hat here is kind of a staple as the sun is almost always out and its pretty strong.

We shall mostly be sporting our very best party dresses tonight as we are going to stop in to help auntie vero celebrate her 40th! We won't be staying out late though... we simply must keep up with our beauty sleep!

I know I'm getting ahead of myself...

But while speaking to mum yesterday we discussed how that there are so many tempting naughty things for me in Canada as there are so many prepared foods... Here you've pretty much got to make most things from scratch which is MUCH healthier... however every time I go home I inevitably indluge in every junkie incarnation possible... not so good for the waist line... I swear I can pack on 10lbs in the span of a few weeks there... lord help me if I ever moved back... I would be a right porker!!!

However with this in mind I am mostly looking forward to taking fredu to these most luxurious establishments...

Licks burgers (ahh nature burger and guk sauce!)

Taco bell!

Si yo quiero taco bell!!! Mi bariga non pero... dar egual.

I have miraculously...

Made it to day eight on my own here in baby central... this is a great acomplishment as there have been moments where I seriously thought I would fall asleep on my feet. I had one of those episodes yesterday as sleep deprevation started to take hold. I luckily manged to ring my mum who chatted with me to keep me awake... Luckily not long after, the wee one finally fell asleep and I quickly followed suit.

The job search has commenced and I'm hoping that something interesting will pop up... or of course there is always the lotto that my mum plans on winning this Friday!?!?!?

Miss Chiara is off today on her coffee date with a new 'friend' the date happens to be taking place in Amsterdam... we are liking the sound of this suitor. I hope she has a wonderful time!

We have a holiday here in Barcelona and most of Spain today... most people are taking tomorrow off as well as a bridge day and thus enjoying a very long weekend. I will however be joining suit as I'm counting down the four more sleeps until Fredu returns from the deep south... I tell you, sometimes abscence can most definately make the heart grow fonder!

Until then, walkies it shall be... I can see Lilli hiding from me already... time to gather the troops and head out!

The fantabulous Ana...

Came by last Saturday to hang out with the girls and I. We lunched and then went for one of my long walkies. We of course had to stop and have some icecream... at which point we shot some photos with her fab little camera. I have a sneaking suspicion that she may have been quite generous to me in the photoshop re-touching side of things but hey... she's the graphic designer after all!


I swear I am not that tanned... Ana start explaining!?!?!


Ana and Lilli looking most prestigous!

Today I am mostly being greatful

For the beautiful sunshine we had as well as for my fabulous neighbour who very graciously signed Sienna's passport pictures for us. He is a doctor you see and the Canadian embassy would only accept someone with a medical degree... either that or it would have had to have beeen the mayor!?!? Of course I know the mayor personally for the last 2 years!?!? The British embassy were not so fussy as to who signed that picture... but we aim to please no?

The sunshine did a good job today of roasting up the remaining people who did not turn lobster red the day before... I swear you would think that these people who fly in here for the weekend would know better... sun screen does not seem to be a well recognised concept for most northern Europeans... Sigh... I was covered under hat and slathered in sun screen and I think I still got a touch of colour regardless...

I'm just finishing up day 4 of holding down the fort on my own as Fredu is off down south for another 7 days working... All I can say is that I have a great amount of respect to single mothers or anyone out there minding a small baby on their own... it's a heck of a lot of work and let me tell you, not made much easier by an almost 3 month old child who has decided to live up to her name 'wonderchild 17' by starting to cut her teeth early! We're back to waking up at 3 and at 6... it's been hairy and exhausing. Mind you, I still have had enough fight to pack up the crew and do a 2h walk with both Sienna and Lilli every day.... so yes, yea me!

The job search has re-commenced as it turns out that it will be unlikely that my services at the budgening danish porn empire will be needed very much or if at all in the coming months... Pretty disapointing really as i think it was honestly the first job I really have ever enjoyed. Ah well perhaps they will have something come up again in the future and I can return to work with them... I just hope I can find something that doesn't drive me mad... (ie. avoid agency work). I keep my mind open and am trying not to panic... instead I am staying very quiet to see if I can hear what the fates are whispering to me about my future... shhh!

'You may all be dead, but you should not be discouraged... '


That bit of advice is taken from one of the closing lines of the movie 'Scoop' written by Woody Allen. I'm not a big fan of his films but I thought that line particularily charming....

Run Lilli Run!

This could possibly be the sequal to run lola run...

Or it could be Lilli Martini running with Alfredo who is riding a bike down by the port...

Pidgeons beware...

Sunday morning on the quiet empty streets of Barcelona there is rumoured to be a pidgeon hunter... We've now got the proof!

You may have the impression that...

there is a lot of lazing about..









I will neither confirm nor deny this statement... you be the judge!

What does it mean...

When your spam box has 666 messages in it???

There has been a flurry of DIY

In the flat as of late... I guess it's spring cleaning of sort... Alfredo created a new light feature in the sitting room and we finally framed a lovely piece that Miss Woo painted for me a few years back. It's a really beautiful piece. He is called Phoenix and is the calf that survived the foot and mouth out break in the UK a few years back. Both the lights and the painting really make the sitting room much nicer!


Phoenix the calf!!


the new lighting piece!

Beyond that life in baby land is good apart from a few pooplosions... hilarious but very very dangerous for white dressing gowns!

Pooplosion!

When we returned home the other night from our first outing minus baby we found our lovely babysitter sitting on the sofa in this position... I know it well! Chiara looks fab!

Miss Chiara and the girls

While walking home from supper at Luca's house last night we turned the corner onto our street and it was empty so I snapped this shot! Lovely no? Like a snap from a few hundred years ago...


calle de montcada

Well we passed the milestone...

of leaving the wee one at home with a sitter and made it to the concert on Saturday night. The venue was half full... the crowd predominently English and the average age well over 30... The girl standing next to me hit the nail on the head when she said 'this concert is for old people' lol. Ian Brown looked pretty destroyed and the sound was too thus it didn't make for a very good concert to be honest... however when he did play two stone roses tracks the place went wild. I felt kind of sorry for him as it must be a pain when you're trying to flog your new work and people are only interested in what you used to do in the past... but it still pays the bills I suppose... Andy Rourke (the bass guitar player for the Smiths) joined him on stage for a while and then was the dj upstairs for the after party... It was pretty funny as I dared Alfredo to go up to him and request that he play a Smiths song... cheeky bugger of course did... and you know what? He played one! Hilarious...

When all was said and done we headed back home and arrived just before 1am to relieve the lovely Chiara of her babysitting duties. She skipped off into the night to join her friends who start their night at 2am... insane! I am indeed an oldie now, but that's fine by me!

Two of cups



Today after a very very early start... we were up and out of the house by 7am for a 8am apt at the hospital (all is well don't worry)... we ended up in Gracia at 10 having breakfast. I tell you, finding a non smoking bar to have breakfast in was quite a challenge... I found it hard to believe that they had no terraces open yet... It's a whole new world when you're up and out at that time of the morning!

After returning home and passing out for a 20min powernap/simultanious baby feeding session I jetted out to meet the girls for lunch. It was really nice to spend some time out of the hosue without the baby attached to my breast and a small dog on my lap! While we were walking home we walked down this narrow street in the gothic quarter and scattered on the floor were a deck of tarrot cards. We each picked one up that was lying face down. Mine was the two of cups. Apparently it's a very positive relationship card which symbolizes a pending marriage or something of the sort... too cute! Then I read futher down the page and saw that if the card was upsidown that is meant the total opposite... Luckily I don't remember which side up it was... perhaps that's my fortune! Either that or it was the cards mocking me and simply pointing out my two over flowing cups...

89 fabulous years!

My grandfather is celebrating is 89th birthday today. Quite amazing to think all the changes in this world that he has seen and experienced during his lifetime... He was born in 1919 so he's seen wars, depressions, social repression, social liberation as well as immesurable technological advancements. he's got an ever expanding brood of offspring which is soon to reach the magic number of 18 (including children, grand children and great grand children). I am so indeed fortunate to have had a grandfather around for my entire lifetime thus far. He's taught me so many things from how to play tennis, golf, badmonton... to his wickedly dry sense of humour... I know a sprinkling of stories from him from his long past and although his memory is still 100% in tact he is never terribly keen to reminice or drudge up too many stories about the war or about him moving from Scotland to Guyana and then eventually along to Canada. Its a shame really as he must have so many amazing stories tucked away... however I guess when you really think about it, living in the now is probably a great sense of lightness for him as pulling up stories from such a long past could possibly become a bit of a chore emotionally... Who knows, perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but the real important thing is that because of him, my family as I know it exists, and that is pretty fantastic.


Cheers to you my lovely grandpa!

It's bitter sweet

It's 6 years to this date that my father passed away. It's amazing that after all these years I still feel that he will come back some day. I guess it's just one of the ways people grieve. I look for signs of him in Sienna's litte smiles that she's started making and any other glimmer of his reflection through her... It's all a bit soon for that I suppose.

Some days I miss him so much as we are doing something or going somewhere where he would have love to have come. It must be so especially hard for mum but she is not one to talk about such things... that's just the way it is with her and fair be it as it's her way of grieving...

Well the sun is out here and I hope to enjoy this day in his honour.

Daddy we miss you!